Anticipation week!

I finally did it - I turned my blog to private! Thanks to all who sent me their e-mails...I guess I did not realize there were so many people who read our blog!

So this week is the big week! We have our brain MRI on Thursday for Brooklynn!! I am so anxious it is crazy! I am having such conflict with this! I know that I will be relieved when it is done but I am nervous because they have to sedate her. I know that a majority of sedations go beautifully but sometimes there are bad reactions to the drugs! And what if she has a reaction to the drug and everything comes back perfectly normal and I put her through that for nothing? But than what if I did not have it done and something is wrong and we find out down the road because she starts having issues? I feel in such limbo right now!

I trust my pediatrician's recommendations, but I am just so scared either way! Everyone tells me she is so normal and there is no way anything can be wrong and in my head I think the same thing. But working where I work I have the issue of babies look normal all the time and there is something that ends up being wrong with them, so in the back of my mind I have been wondering! There are so many people who have kids who say "their head size was off the charts". What exactly do they mean by that? Do they mean one or two boxes above the 97th%ile or do they mean 23 (little) boxes above the 97th%ile like my child?

This mother thing is really exhausting! The constant worry and than the conflict of am I worrying over nothing and am just a freak?? Don't get me wrong - I would not change it for the world! I love my little girls no matter what and they have made my life SOOO much better! I just understand now when my mom used to always say that being a mother means being worried nonstop!