Brooklynn's Ophthalmology Exam

Today we had Brooklynn's Ophthalmology Appointment. I have to say she did so much better than I thought she would. I thought it would be a disaster and they would be able to look at her eyes, but she let them thanks to some very nice nurses who helped distract her with toys. They first looked at her irises - this is where they would see bumps and change in pigments of her eyes if she had them. THey looked and said while she has a lot of pigment, she doesn't have any bumps, so this was good. They dilated her eyes, and we waited around for 25 minutes in the waiting room. They took us back and the doctor again looked at her eyes, this time at the nerve in the back of her eye with a special tool. Here, they were looking for what's called gliomas, or growths in her nerve. They did not find any of these either. She said sometimes they are so far back that you can't see them, but she didn't think there was anything there. She also said her vision was good. So while I was really relieved that there was nothing wrong, she than proceeds to tell me they can't rule out neurofibromotosis because sometimes these don't show up until a person is older - and commonly they start around age 6. So we will have to come back every year to see if there are any changes. So yet another follow up every year we have to go. Don't get me wrong. I am SOOO grateful that my child is healthy right now. That there is nothing going on with her that would warrant someone to be concerned or to diagnose her with anything. But some days, it feels like I have a ticking time bomb on my hand. That one day, I am going to finally get this worry that is going on in the back of my head to go away, and than something is going to explode in my face. I wonder - are there any other people out there who have to follow with so many specialists and their child ends up being perfectly healthy? Or should I question that we have seen 8 specialists, most of them who are wanting to follow us and won't release us out of there service, that there is just something we have not caught yet? I know I shouldn't think that way. But I am having a really hard time getting that out of my head. I should concentrate on the fact that I have the most loving, fun, exciting 2 year old. She is full of energy and good spirits and wonderful enthusiasm. She makes me smile a hundred times a day. I should be grateful that everything, even if there is slightly something a little off, has been mostly normal. I am, but some days I just need to break down and cry and be angry that my child has to go through all this without any real answers. That's the end of my soap box. I love my family and wouldn't trade my life for anything. Just wish things could be a little easier for Brooklynn, and hope that when she is old enough to truly wonder what is going on, we are no longer being followed by specialists.